Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Domestic Help: Emotional Abuse.

This evening, as I was opening the gate to let the car go in, I heard my neigbhour scolding her maid. Again.

My next door neighbour is an Indian lady in her mid 40s with two children below 8 years of age, whom we shall call "Mak Pontianak". If you are wondering, Mak Pontianak- is a malay word that means mother of the vampire.  A very suitable name coined by one of my readers.

The maid was standing on the steps in the house, facing the entrance and the door was open. Evidently, anyone passing outside the house would be able to hear the "loud scolding" of the Mak Pontianak.

I've been hearing this for the past few months, and frankly speaking, I'm a bit tired of it. It's just really sad that the maid is unable to stand up for herself. Not because she is unable to, but I would say because she does not know how to.

So I decided to be nosy, and stand in front of the fence, and leaned to look at what was happening. It was only for a few minutes, but before the Mak Pontianak realised I was looking.

Then, in a rude manner, the Mak Pontianak asked loudly,


Seeing the dog was there, I quickly answered "oh, I'm looking at the dog".

I pretended to look at something else, then looked away, took my belongings from the car, and walked into my own house.

Then I started complaining about the Mak Pontianak next door to my parents and told them what happened.

Mother: "Oh, you should take pity on her. Her husband just passed away".

Me: "So What? She was already like that EVEN before her husband passed away. She is just taking it out on the maid. People like that have absolutely no COMPASSION for anyone below her socio-economic level. I really pity the maid. Her husband probably died because of her nagging."

My maid later informed me that the Mak Pontianak's domestic help had lost a lot weight. True, she may not have experienced physical abuse, but emotional abuse is thoroughly just as bad.

Perhaps the lady has not been through hardship, and is unable to put herself in anyone else's shoes. Imagine your own daugher in a foreign country, trying to make a better living. Instead she is working for a manager who scolds her every day of the year for the tiniest matters, even if its not her fault. How said I will feel for the daughter? It is really so sad.

If I were the maid, I would have run away a long time ago back to the domestic help agent and made a complaint about my manager!

I would definitely applaud what she did, for even as a neighbour, I am truly sick and tired of listening to the Mak Pontianak raise her voice shouting and screaming in the confines of her home at someone who really has no one to help her.


CheaKyGal said...

My mother said I should learn to be diplomatic.

Well, I am. I have tolerated the nonsense for the past few months, ignoring it.

The argument goes, screaming loudly in your house thinking that nobody else will hear is being insensitive to others around you.

The noise still reaches to other people's territories, and it disturbs my peace of mind.

It's like putting on the Radio loud at midnight, you can't sleep because you are distracted by the noise.

Do you have the right to go over to their house and tell them to lower the volume, or do you have to go to the police , so that the police can go and tell them instead?

Think about that.

Sherry said...

my friend got maid, and guess what the maid make false report say employer abuse. anyway she is run away case, employer give her expensive choco to eat oso and only ask her do house chores and cleaning.

anyway I think many case not reported, I think they worry and scare.


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